The Caffeinated Advocate

I have many friends, acquaintances, colleagues who will agree with people whom I've never met or will ever meet, that say "we don't need autism awareness for April, we need action! We need acceptance! Stop the awareness!" Hmph. Mmm-kay. Stop what you're doing. Stop talking. Pull up a chair, grab some coffee (and if you would be so kind, share some with me because I need plenty more after the next dip in our roller coaster), and just ... LISTEN. Oh, and bring me some cream and sugar, because I don't take mine black. Awareness, by definition, is "the state or condition of being aware; having knowledge; consciousness." For hundreds of thousands of people, their awareness of conditions and causes ends with being in a state of consciousness. STOP TELLING ME WE DON'T NEED AWARENESS . Just stop. I will confidently, completely and unapologetically call bullshit. Our world and its communities are NOT fully aware. They do not understand the ful...

I am so grateful to the  Autism Connection of Pennsylvania  for including "Preparing for When the Bus Stops Coming" in their Spring 2018 Newsletter! A full and unedited version of this article, including some personal content that shares a touch more of more of my "why" (along with a powerful photo) and a bit more about the curriculum I promote in my role at Wesley Family Services is being shared this evening on my blog. I am truly blessed to serve in a role  that allows me to continue to contribute to creating and encouraging positive change in our community to transform lives.  There is incredible content throughout the newsletter, including the importance of donating locally and not jumping to national charities (and if you know me well, you know exactly who I am referring to and why) without doing your homework. Don't miss your chance to read about their exciting happenings. The women at Autism Connection of PA never cease to motivate and inspire me. Rea...

It's time. I don't know how I'm going to make it happen, I don't know how I'm going to finish it, but ... it's time. A little over a month ago, I finally launched The Caffeinated Advocate  after saying for many years, "you know, I should run a blog." Years ago, I announced in front of over 700 people at the kickoff luncheon at Heinz Field for what was then known Pittsburgh's "Walk Now for Autism" that I would be writing a book "someday" that shared our story. Thousands across the community know pieces of our story, including the devastating incident that led to Christian receiving his diagnosis of autism. I started writing a few chapters years ago. When I reached my seventh chapter, a few things happened: 1) I froze, because I reached the point where I had to relive April 2001, pouring buckets of salt into old and deep wounds that were very slow to heal. 2) A week later, I lost everything I had spent months writing b...

The following article making its round through social media has me puzzled and quite frankly frustrated "#asf":   https://tonic.vice.com/en_us/article/7x7myx/prom-for-disabled-people-perpetuates-stigma?utm_source=tonicfbus Nope, nope, and nope. It's a nope from me, folks. 👎👎 I've been commenting left and right on this article, so ... what do you know, it inspired a post. Funny how that happens, eh? (Or not.) Forcing an individual and/or family to choose any sort of placement, provider or environment is not and has never been acceptable to me. Quite frankly, I find it ironic when advocates push for one means or the other and justify such by saying "it is in their best interests." But, is it always? No. It doesn't work that way. We don't know everyone's story. We shouldn't make up other people's minds before they have the opportunity to decide what is the best fit. It is unacceptable to limit choice. When you limit choice, you in tur...

W hat W ould C athy D o? Well, that depends on the day of the week, the hour, maybe in the moment that you ask. If you look closely at my now makeup-free face, I'm a little red in the cheeks and eyes. I didn't have time to hit Planet Fitness tonight since Chris needed picked up at 8pm, so I took a brisk walk outside instead. To be honest, walking and losing myself in music, lyrics, and my surroundings has always been healing for me so this evening, it was the better option. Tonight's chilly air and darkness numbed me and lessened other distractions, and it allowed me time to process what I'm feeling, and feeling so deeply. Two conversations today truly grounded me today, and I needed it as my day became increasingly difficult as it continued on. I shared one of them across social media, with a screenshot of the message I received. It was from a former colleague who shared that she needed to have one of "those talks" with a family. It...

Hi there, cashier at Register 14. I don't know you, but I've heard of you. Yesterday, a parent who has walked alongside me through what has been quite a journey shared a Facebook post with me, and it was about you. A woman who is married to a successful medical professional, who runs his offices, made a comment about her experience in your checkout line. She was turned off by what I will assume was an intelligent conversation you were carrying on ... by yourself. And she summed up her commentary at the end of her post with, "eek." Eek. Well, yeah ... eek. Eek is right. She nailed it. That we agree on. That is where our commonality in this regard ends. "Eek" was my first thought about a woman who has been exposed to children, teens and adults in her husband's practice who have faced many challenges medically, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually to be so quick to judge someone else who behaves differently than she. I don't know yo...